Yo, listen up. This game/scene/jungle is a messed up place, man. You gotta watch your back 'cause there are some real jerks/pricks/douchebags out there. One minute they're all friendly, the next they're sabotaging/stabbing/trashing you. It's all about the power/money/fame, and these hacks/snakes/clowns will do anything to get it. They'll sleep with/cheat on/use your girl, steal your ideas/grind/thunder, and then laugh in your face about it. Don't trust anyone, especially those smooth-talking/fake-smiling/wolf-in-sheep's-clothing freaks/losers/bastards.
- Play smart
- Trust no one
- Fight back
Surviving Arse-licking Assholes: A Guide to Corporate Life
Let's face it: corporate life is a goddamn minefield. You're surrounded by slimy idiots, all vying for the next promotion, and they'll step on anyone to get there. But don't fret just yet, you can endure this toxic jungle with a few simple strategies.
- First, master the art of the smile. Keep your lips pressed into a fake expression while you plot your escape.
- Thirdly, remember that silence is lethal. Don't utter a word unless it benefits you, and even then, keep it brief.
- Above all else| Never, under any circumstances, entangle yourself in office drama. It's a quagmire from which you may never resurface.
An Incomprehensible Guide to Absolute Numptyism
Are you tired of being capable? Do you yearn for the sweet embrace of utter ignorance? Then this guide is for you, my fellow idiot. Within these pages, you'll discover the secrets to achieving peak asininity. Learn how to fail spectacularly in every aspect of your life. Master the art of not knowing anything. And most importantly, become a legend as the greatest arsehead this world has ever seen!
- Chapter 1: The Fundamentals of Fumbling
- Chapter 2: Advanced Techniques in Blundering
- Chapter 3: The Art of Saying the Wrong Thing at the Wrong Time
This guidebook is not for those with functioning brains. It's a journey into the abyss of idiocy, and only the truly dedicated should embark on it.
Hitman's Handbook: Confessions of a Guild Rat
A shadowy figure/apparition/silhouette crawled through the damp/murky/fetid back alley, his cloak/hood/mantle pulled tight against the biting wind/chill/cold. The stench of decay/trash/death hung heavy in the air, a familiar perfume to this seasoned assassin/killer/slayer. He was on his way to his usual watering hole/rendezvous/meeting place, a seedy bar/tavern/pub known as The Grim Reaper/Black Cat/Silken Serpent. This wasn't your typical joint; here, the patrons traded tales of grime/bloodshed/violence, not just drunken gossip/rumors/lies.
He slipped through the door, his presence barely noticed amongst the crowd/gathering/mob of hardened criminals/outlaws/mercenaries. Whispers/Mumbles/Murmurs followed him as he made his way to the bar, where a familiar face/figure/profile greeted him with a knowing nod/glance/look. This was Jimmy "The Viper/Snake/Rat" Malone, the bartender/owner/boss of this underworld hangout.
"The usual, pal/friend/chum?" Jimmy rasped, his voice gravelly/rough/worn from years of cigarettes/whiskey/hard living.
The assassin nodded, taking a seat at the bar. He was here to collect information, trade secrets/gossip/intelligence, anything that could help him land his next contract/job/hit. spastic The world of assassination was a brutal one, and he had to stay one step ahead of the competition/rivals/enemies.
From Arsehole to Achiever: A Guide to Life
Right, you knuckleheads. Let's face it, you're probably not the sharpest knife in the drawer, are you? Life's a real struggle and you keepdoing stupid stuff. Well, guess what? This manual is here to save your sorry arse. We're gonna revamp your life and make you into the winner you were always meant to be. Don't worry, it won't be easy - just a little bit of motivation. So grab a pen and paper because things are about to get real.
- Listen up!
- Think before you act.
Let's get started!
As Soon As Arses Collide: A Comedy of Errors
This ain't your typical romantic farce. It's a chaotic romp through shenanigans where everyone's clueless and nothing goes as planned. You got your flawed characters, stumbling headfirst into a heap of predicaments that'll leave you crying with laughter. It's a wild ride, folks, so buckle up and prepare for some serious chaos.